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Father teaches us to do battle with the forces that would invade and destroy our integrity. Father equips his children to move out into society and establish themselves with deep significance. He is the guiding force that helps the child bond and belong. Father supports a child along the path that leads to self-discovery and identity. Father directs his child to the mountaintop and shows her the world and says:. His soft words, affirming the child's ability and self-worth, clothes the child in the power that is necessary to go out and find her place in life.

It is the loving bond between father and child that enables the child to travel the path of significance. Father is like the shepherd, always there, who encourages the child to stand with dignity.

He gives the family a sense of stability and it is this stability which helps the child develop her potential. Running Waters did not have this experience with a father.

The masculine force became, for her, something she did not trust. Its association is with anger, violence, control and oppression. This dark, degenerative side of the masculine aspect ravages, demands submission and violates innocence. I can remember my grandfather sitting in his big chair calling me over to him. We used to play this game where he would slap my hand and I would slap his. I remember, though, standing in front of him with my panties pulled down.

I can't remember any more, except my mother tells me that when she came to pick me up after three months, I was afraid of her, because she had left me. I think I've always been afraid. The fear makes me comply with whomever makes demands on me. I hear it say, "Submit, woman. You are my slave. It makes me grow layers around me, so I can protect myself from the world. I hide behind my weight; it serves as a barrier between myself and the world.

I lived at my grandma's house and I can remember when she went to work, my uncle would come around. He was in his forties. He would take me into the back room and undress me and touch my private parts. I complied -- submitted willingly; I was under his power. Then he would go out into the front room and play his guitar for a while and then take my cousin into the back room.

I see that cousin today and she has so many problems. There was no one to protect me; anyone could come in and take what they wanted. Let the fire change something within you.

Can you allow it to become your ally? Running Waters, can you walk back into the dream with a fire torch and stand between the man and your daughter? Can you listen to the fire burn and make it grow so that the man moves back?

And I promise to find a place for you to heal; a safe place for you so your voice may return and so you may be restored to wholeness. Running Waters carries the woman to the forest. She builds her a log house which will hold her and the child.

It is by the running stream. The fire never goes out; it burns brightly, giving warmth and light. For about a year, Running Waters learns to live within the forest and is taught to care for the child by learning to discern what is safe and what is not safe for her. She becomes aware that it is not safe when her husband smokes up, or goes away to get drunk. The abandonment constantly awakens her own childhood abandonment. Her man leaving her over and over causes unbearable pain for the child within Running Waters.

Running Waters has a good stable job, as she is a clever woman. People can count on her to be there for them. She loves her daughters and wants them to have a better life than she had growing up. She does not want them to be subjected to violence and an alcoholic father, as she was. She is beautiful and has a good soul filled with laughter and compassion.

However, in a second her husband can reduce her to feeling worthless. I think I need a man to make me feel safe and protected," says Running Waters. He is your childhood, your fear, and your black peers criticizing you. He is your stepfather's violence as well as your grandfather's and uncle's sexual abuse of you. He is your husband's control of you.

He is the perpetrator that lives in you and needs to be brought into the healing light, so that he no longer controls you. Open the door, Running Waters, and speak. Find your voice that was cut out from you years ago. Bring him into the light of the fire. Let him be transformed into self-confidence.

She prepared the ritual, inviting him in to sit by the fire. She faced her childhood and rescued her lost child. She lifted her high into the sky so the eagle's feathers could cover her. She could hear the Spirit speak:. One day, Running Waters came to sit with me. She told me that she had left her husband. She took her children and moved out. I love him and I want him to heal; but I also love my children enough to take them out of an abusive situation.

I feel shame when I see those old shacks. You are looking for your centre; the place where everything comes together. Your journey leads you away from the cold, hard cement of the city, the man made stuff, onto the dirt roads and the things that have been abandoned and left for dead. The cement covers up the earth and your feelings. Nothing grows through cement. The old Indian man shows you where to go and you do follow him, even though you do not thoroughly trust him.

Do you have a problem trusting yourself and your instincts? He leads you to a place where you are not comfortable and you are confused. Can you trust that the Creator is guiding you to a place within yourself which seeks to restore harmony and reconcile opposing forces of dark and light, hard and soft, male and female?

The tapestries on the wall suggest that perhaps the weaving together of these opposing forces will bring you to realise the harmony and beauty that dwells within you. You are the artist and the work of art. It was an old Indian man who sexually abused me. Why should I trust any man? This old man lives in you; he is a part of you. He is not only dark, but contains the light of wisdom as he guides you to your centre, at your own invitation. He is the Trickster.

Nothing about him is quite as it seems. He reminds you of your grandfather; but he is also a wise guide. Maybe he personifies all of your beliefs about men and the masculine force. For harmony, there must be intermarriage between masculine and feminine energy.

For that to happen, perhaps you need to trust all of yourself. Soon after, her daughter, Floating Words, came to see me because she had had a nightmare after they had moved.

Let the tiger take the gun and bury it. No more guns, Floating Words. You can stop hiding, because the tiger will protect you. Every family has a rhythm. The rhythm can harm or nurture the individual members. I could see that as Running Waters left her husband, a particular rhythm broke. A pattern had started to shift. Floating Words now voiced something she could not say as long as the family stayed in the dysfunctional rhythm. Dysfunctional patterns become destructive and self-defeating to members of a family.

The child internalizes the violence between her parents and becomes a slave to dark forces. That is the message from Floating Words' dream. As soon as the pattern shifts, everyone moves in response to the shuffle. The shuffling is the creative process at work. The price is high for Running Waters as now she will have to feel fully whatever her husband served to protect her from.

I go away and I'm not fully present when things get confused. I avoid intimacy, never letting people get too close to me or they shall see me for who I really am.

I cannot risk the rejection that comes with intimacy. The dream awakens Running Waters' fear and the need for this very brave woman to shed her layers. That is the power of the snake and its innate nature. Running Waters feels repulsed by the snakes, but our journey leads us to face our inner swamplands and our courage is born through, and in, the encounter with those forces that hold us suspended. For Running Waters, her fear holds her suspended. That fear was injected into her soul and heart through her abuse as a child and her abandonment by those she loved.

Healing and recovery guide us to walk through and feel the messiness of our human condition. To feel fully our poverty gives birth to a resurrected spirit.

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