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My therapist helped me to see that. The quality of the father-daughter relationship—good, damaged, or otherwise—profoundly impacts daughters in multiple ways.
A girl stands a better chance of becoming a self-confident woman if she has a close relationship with her father. Studies show that if a girl grows up with a damaged relationship with her father, her self-esteem will be lower than one who does not. In fact, she may seek out partners who confirm her low opinion of herself. Women who have a wound in the father-daughter relationship may gravitate to mates who treat them poorly because they are unaware of the root of their issue.
However, when it is brought to their attention, they can reverse this pattern and pick partners who honor and respect them. Sandra, a software engineer, age twenty-six, reflects: I guess I felt that the way my dad treated my mom was the way I deserved to be treated.
According to author Peggy Drexler, PhD, awareness of the father-daughter wound and willingness to accept responsibility for changing is key to healing any damage.
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I think if we look closer, there is a reason why fathers become the fathers and parents they are. They, like us, have brought their own pain into their marriages and parenting and have not dealt with it. So, children who have suffered and thought it was their fault blame themselves for something that had nothing to do with them. That was all about their parent and not about the child at all. I hope you sign-up for our bi-weekly enewsletter and blogs on our site and keep in touch with us!
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Let Go of Your Childhood Hang-ups. January 11, at January 21, at January 29, at 1: February 11, at 9: February 11, at 5: September 23, at 5: December 27, at 4: December 27, at Leave a Reply Click here to cancel reply.
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