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Which do you want first? The good news is that I can tell you how to stop suffering. I can give you precise directions. And as much as anyone can guarantee anything, I can guarantee that if you follow these precise directions then you will no longer suffer.

In fact, not only will you cease to suffer if you follow these directions. You will discover that you are the true source of joy. But this is not as you imagine it will be.

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In fact, it is exactly like right now. The only trouble is with what you give attention to. Are you confused yet? Because disorientation may well be an essential ingredient to the end of suffering. Just tell me where to send it and click the button below. So what is your suffering? We all have different names for our suffering.

I was OCD and anxious. This is very, very important if you want to stop suffering. Can you see that? In all forms of suffering the seeking is what is common. The objects of the seeking may be different, but the seeking itself is always the same. You may believe that your suffering is because of what happened to you as a child. Maybe you believe your suffering is because of your economic or social circumstances. Well, then keep on seeking.

I remember what it was like to keep on seeking. I know the pain of that. I remember sitting in my apartment in Vermont praying for hours and hours on end that there might be an end to the suffering — an end to the seeking. I would go to sleep every night and pray that something magical would happen in the night as I slept that would change everything so that upon waking in the morning I would no longer suffer.

I would no longer seek for the answers. I had searched and searched and searched. I read Osho and Papaji and Eckhart Tolle. I attended satsang after satsang. I meditated for hours a day. I had to have the answer. I had to discover the truth.

I was on fire with the desire for true and abiding peace. And still, every morning I would wake up, and I would find that I was still me — still the seeking me, the obsessive me, the compulsive me, the anxious me, the fearful me, the separate me.

And so it would all start all over again. Things got worse and worse over the years. I was a mess. This continued for years. I was writhing in pain, unable to sleep at night, sick with Lyme disease in a drafty cabin in the woods of Maine. I was so mentally-constipated that I Casino Games Yahoo Free Slots Downloads Offline flying into a rage at the drop of a hat.

I cannot even begin to do justice to the psychological anguish I experienced. And still I sought after what I imagined to be the truth. I would read Nirmala and Joan Tollifson. I would watch Tony Parsons videos on YouTube. I even bought a phone card to make overseas phone calls to Richard Sylvester in the U. So I know a thing or two about suffering. I know that it sucks. And if I could, I would tap you on the forehead and wake you up. I would end your suffering. But although I cannot tap you on the forehead and wake you up, I can point you in the right direction.

And, I Venice Casino In Macau Venetian give you guidance. I have traversed the path, and so I can take your hand and show you the way.

But whether or not you will hear me or believe me or understand me is not something I get to control. Whether you will actually take my hand and walk this path with me, I cannot know.

I hope you receive it. I hope you do because I want to see you know yourself as you are. I want you to know yourself as true peace and freedom. I want this for you because I know how wonderful it is. And I know that it is truly available for each of us when we know where to look. And it can only happen right now.

I understand why you are confused. And please admit that you are confused. Because this is an important first step. If you think you know then you are already full. And true freedom is emptiness. So just for this moment be willing to admit that you are confused. But the more you seek, the more confused you get. Consider for a moment: Clarity is not a thing. It is the natural state that is evident when you no longer are cluttering your vision. That just leads to more clutter.

Because now instead of looking for the answer in all the clutter, you clutter your vision with all the attempts to clear your vision. When I was confused, part of my confusion was trying to figure out what to do about the confusion. I tried lots of things, including LSD and meditation and prayer and satsang. I did rebirthing and listened to Alan Watts.

I did qi gong. All that I did was an attempt to figure something out. I thought that I could solve the problem through seeking out the answers. This seeking is the confusion. When you are confused you overlook the real answer. And the real answer is to stop the seeking.

When you cease to look for an answer then you realize that the whole premise was false. There never was a problem.

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Or, rather, the whole problem was the seeking for an answer to a non-existent problem. You find that hard to believe because you have a true problem. I had real problems. I was on the edge of death. I was really sick.

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Not just mental constipation, but physiological sickness. And still I kept on seeking for answers. But believe it or not, there are no true problems. There is only what is happening. And what is happening is the totality of what is. This is not a problem. Consider that for a moment: But hold on a second. Are you ready for the secret for how to stop seeking?

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I meditated for hours a day. I had to have the answer. I had to discover the truth. I was on fire with the desire for true and abiding peace. And still, every morning I would wake up, and I would find that I was still me — still the seeking me, the obsessive me, the compulsive me, the anxious me, the fearful me, the separate me.

And so it would all start all over again. Things got worse and worse over the years. I was a mess. This continued for years.

I was writhing in pain, unable to sleep at night, sick with Lyme disease in a drafty cabin in the woods of Maine. I was so mentally-constipated that I started flying into a rage at the drop of a hat. I cannot even begin to do justice to the psychological anguish I experienced. And still I sought after what I imagined to be the truth. I would read Nirmala and Joan Tollifson. I would watch Tony Parsons videos on YouTube. I even bought a phone card to make overseas phone calls to Richard Sylvester in the U.

So I know a thing or two about suffering. I know that it sucks. And if I could, I would tap you on the forehead and wake you up. I would end your suffering. But although I cannot tap you on the forehead and wake you up, I can point you in the right direction.

And, I can give you guidance. I have traversed the path, and so I can take your hand and show you the way. But whether or not you will hear me or believe me or understand me is not something I get to control.

Whether you will actually take my hand and walk this path with me, I cannot know. I hope you receive it. I hope you do because I want to see you know yourself as you are.

I want you to know yourself as true peace and freedom. I want this for you because I know how wonderful it is. And I know that it is truly available for each of us when we know where to look. And it can only happen right now. I understand why you are confused. And please admit that you are confused. Because this is an important first step. If you think you know then you are already full.

And true freedom is emptiness. So just for this moment be willing to admit that you are confused. But the more you seek, the more confused you get. Consider for a moment: Clarity is not a thing. It is the natural state that is evident when you no longer are cluttering your vision. That just leads to more clutter. Because now instead of looking for the answer in all the clutter, you clutter your vision with all the attempts to clear your vision.

When I was confused, part of my confusion was trying to figure out what to do about the confusion. I tried lots of things, including LSD and meditation and prayer and satsang. I did rebirthing and listened to Alan Watts. I did qi gong. All that I did was an attempt to figure something out. I thought that I could solve the problem through seeking out the answers. This seeking is the confusion. When you are confused you overlook the real answer.

And the real answer is to stop the seeking. When you cease to look for an answer then you realize that the whole premise was false. There never was a problem. Or, rather, the whole problem was the seeking for an answer to a non-existent problem. You find that hard to believe because you have a true problem. I had real problems. I was on the edge of death. I was really sick. Not just mental constipation, but physiological sickness.

And still I kept on seeking for answers. But believe it or not, there are no true problems. There is only what is happening. And what is happening is the totality of what is. This is not a problem. Consider that for a moment: But hold on a second. Are you ready for the secret for how to stop seeking?

But I promise you that this is it. If you want to stop seeking and stop suffering then this is the only way to do it of which I am aware. It is so simple that anyone can do it. It is so direct that it produces immediate results.

And it will work every time. But it will definitely give you what you truly want — true freedom. At least I believe that. But the only way to know is to do it. So are you ready? The secret is to turn your attention from what you think about what is happening and give your attention to what is happening.

This is very, very simple. The effort is all in giving your attention to the thinking and the story about what it all means. I know because I was confused too for a long time. I heard the message to be with what is directly instead of giving attention to the story, but somehow I never actually understood it.

Because this experience is so direct and immediate and clear that you will know what I am talking about from here on out. The confusion arises from the fact that you have lived for so long in a very narrow way.

You even think about your emotions and the sensations in your body. Instead of simply being the direct experience of what is happening, you give it a name. You call it sadness or anger. You call it pain or pleasure. But in doing so, you miss out on what is more immediate than that. What is more immediate than thought is the direct experience.

So let me guide you through an exercise that will give you the direct experience. I call this exercise the Big Chill. The first step is to notice that your attention is on thought. You can notice that your attention goes to the analysis of what this is, what it means, and what you need to do about it.

The second step is to notice that in your body there is a physical sensation. You probably avoid the sensation by jumping right to the thoughts about it rather than experiencing it directly. Attention is a funny thing.

It likes to have something to focus on. The way to do this is not how you would imagine, however. The reason is that awareness is not an object. So if you look for it, you will not find it. In order to have attention focus on awareness, you have to trick yourself to stop looking for an object.

The next step is to begin to scan your body using your attention. Move your attention to the top of your head, and begin to scan down your body, part by part, until you get to the bottoms of your feet. At each part, simply notice what is happening. Continue to scan the body from head to toe over and over again.

Each time, simply notice what is happening. Simply notice what changes. Thought tells us otherwise. Thought is rather blunt. We apply names to experience, and we miss out on what is actually happening. Because the truth is that every moment is new and different. So stay with what is actually happening rather than giving it a name. Just notice how it changes. You cannot force this. But you can allow it.

Stay with the process because this process starts to turn your attention in the opposite direction from that which it is accustomed to going. And when your attention gets turned in this way, then you can notice this thing that is not a thing. This is you as you truly are. You cannot see yourself. But you can recognize yourself. And when you turn in this way, attention naturally becomes attracted to its source.

Nor do I suggest that your mind will unfold like a thousand-petalled lotus. For more design inspiration, follow along on Instagram , Facebook , Pinterest , Twitter and subscribe to Bespoke Banter. Be sure to click here to register for all events.

They are filling up fast and you do not want to miss this incredible line up of engaging, entertaining and enlightening speakers! I am excited to be participating along with nine other designers from the southeast to create rooms inspired by our favorite cities.

See below for the full lineup and more information about ADAC: For more design inspiration, be sure to follow along on Instagram , Pinterest , Facebook , Twitter and subscribe to Bespoke Banter. Thanks for reading and please come back again! The final day of LCDQ certainly inspired all of us to keep the fight going….

I was looking forward to some of my favorite showrooms hosting events and taking in all the incredible sources that LCDQ has to offer. The new showroom of Hollywood at Home is a feast for the eyes. We were greeted by the new fabric collaboration of adorable Amy Meier and Peter Fasano.

The always entertaining Robert Leleux, editor in chief of Domino , led a lively conversation with his usual panache. The front of the showroom houses fabrics lines organized by designer and the back contains one of the chicest special event spaces I have ever seen. Interiors editor Leslie Newsom Rascoe and renowned interior designers Nicky Haslam and Nathan Turner discussed the definition of enduring interiors in the context of short lived nature of decorating and why some spaces transcend time.

The boisterous banter between these three was highly entertaining. Nathan compared the role of a designer as that of a captain and the importance of maintaining control of the ship. Nicky elaborated to never compromise your own design aesthetic because that is why the clients hire you in the first place. Next, a picnic lunch at Woven Accents complete with Moroccan rugs in lieu of picnic blankets and dueling DJs to entertain the crowd.

Susan McFadden, editor of California Homes led a panel with Kathryn Ireland, Lulu Powers and Russ Diamond and how contemporary entertaining styles have changed including the extinction or comeback of the formal dining room, chef inspired kitchens and indoor outdoor entertaining. That afternoon, a flurry of book signings took place along Melrose and La Cienega. Windsor Smith, the Brentwood based design powerhouse, hosted a meet and greet to unveil her new collection at Arteriors.

The final keynote of the day featured some of my all time favorite design talents. Harbinger is another LCDQ favorite.

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But whether or not you will hear me or believe me or understand me is not something I get to control.

Whether you will actually take my hand and walk this path with me, I cannot know. I hope you receive it. I hope you do because I want to see you know yourself as you are. I want you to know yourself as true peace and freedom. I want this for you because I know how wonderful it is.

And I know that it is truly available for each of us when we know where to look. And it can only happen right now. I understand why you are confused. And please admit that you are confused. Because this is an important first step. If you think you know then you are already full. And true freedom is emptiness. So just for this moment be willing to admit that you are confused. But the more you seek, the more confused you get. Consider for a moment: Clarity is not a thing.

It is the natural state that is evident when you no longer are cluttering your vision. That just leads to more clutter. Because now instead of looking for the answer in all the clutter, you clutter your vision with all the attempts to clear your vision. When I was confused, part of my confusion was trying to figure out what to do about the confusion.

I tried lots of things, including LSD and meditation and prayer and satsang. I did rebirthing and listened to Alan Watts. I did qi gong. All that I did was an attempt to figure something out. I thought that I could solve the problem through seeking out the answers.

This seeking is the confusion. When you are confused you overlook the real answer. And the real answer is to stop the seeking. When you cease to look for an answer then you realize that the whole premise was false.

There never was a problem. Or, rather, the whole problem was the seeking for an answer to a non-existent problem. You find that hard to believe because you have a true problem. I had real problems. I was on the edge of death. I was really sick. Not just mental constipation, but physiological sickness. And still I kept on seeking for answers. But believe it or not, there are no true problems. There is only what is happening. And what is happening is the totality of what is. This is not a problem.

Consider that for a moment: But hold on a second. Are you ready for the secret for how to stop seeking? But I promise you that this is it. If you want to stop seeking and stop suffering then this is the only way to do it of which I am aware.

It is so simple that anyone can do it. It is so direct that it produces immediate results. And it will work every time. But it will definitely give you what you truly want — true freedom. At least I believe that. But the only way to know is to do it. So are you ready? The secret is to turn your attention from what you think about what is happening and give your attention to what is happening. This is very, very simple.

The effort is all in giving your attention to the thinking and the story about what it all means. I know because I was confused too for a long time. I heard the message to be with what is directly instead of giving attention to the story, but somehow I never actually understood it.

Because this experience is so direct and immediate and clear that you will know what I am talking about from here on out. The confusion arises from the fact that you have lived for so long in a very narrow way.

You even think about your emotions and the sensations in your body. Instead of simply being the direct experience of what is happening, you give it a name. You call it sadness or anger. You call it pain or pleasure. But in doing so, you miss out on what is more immediate than that. What is more immediate than thought is the direct experience. So let me guide you through an exercise that will give you the direct experience. I call this exercise the Big Chill. The first step is to notice that your attention is on thought.

You can notice that your attention goes to the analysis of what this is, what it means, and what you need to do about it. The second step is to notice that in your body there is a physical sensation. You probably avoid the sensation by jumping right to the thoughts about it rather than experiencing it directly. Attention is a funny thing. It likes to have something to focus on.

The way to do this is not how you would imagine, however. The reason is that awareness is not an object. So if you look for it, you will not find it. In order to have attention focus on awareness, you have to trick yourself to stop looking for an object.

The next step is to begin to scan your body using your attention. Move your attention to the top of your head, and begin to scan down your body, part by part, until you get to the bottoms of your feet. At each part, simply notice what is happening. Continue to scan the body from head to toe over and over again. Each time, simply notice what is happening. Simply notice what changes. Thought tells us otherwise. Thought is rather blunt. We apply names to experience, and we miss out on what is actually happening.

Because the truth is that every moment is new and different. So stay with what is actually happening rather than giving it a name. Just notice how it changes. You cannot force this. But you can allow it. Stay with the process because this process starts to turn your attention in the opposite direction from that which it is accustomed to going. And when your attention gets turned in this way, then you can notice this thing that is not a thing.

This is you as you truly are. You cannot see yourself. But you can recognize yourself. And when you turn in this way, attention naturally becomes attracted to its source. Nor do I suggest that your mind will unfold like a thousand-petalled lotus. But you can discover yourself. This is unlikely to ever be popular. That was me too. There are flies buzzing around. My partner and our son are out for the day.

My partner is the one who normally picks up around the house, so right now the counter is stacked with dirty dishes and empty food containers. This is a real relief. It takes away all that is false. It takes away suffering. So now you may have some questions. Post your questions in the comments section below or send me an email at joeylott gmail. Am I doing something wrong? Seriously, though, whatever you are experiencing is exactly what you are experiencing.

Just stay with that. Just notice what you are experiencing. Notice how thoughts arise. You have a choice to either jump to the thought or to stay with the direct experience. At first this practice can be odd because you may be accustomed to always jumping to thoughts.

Thought cannot know what is. Thought is just thought. But just notice that those are all just names — which is to say, more thoughts. In my experience, doing the body scans without trying to change anything with a curious attitude is the most direct way to trick your attention into turning toward its source.

So my encouragement is that you stay with the process. They collectively represent extraordinary talent as well as the humor and humility required to educate, nurture and enlighten clients and fans across generations.

Color stories for highlight a more spontaneous approach with new harmonies in both color and design. They pull together amazing interiors that manage to check all of our dream-design boxes.

These designers are defining themselves by their malleable approach to decorating that adapts personal instincts to individual projects. This same philosophy holds true in how they run their businesses. Join an insightful conversation that will inspire designers with new ways to think about their business behind the design. Susanna Salk is a popular design author and stylist, and host of the At Home With video series.

You will leave inspired and have notes on how these magnificent design moments can be translated into your business. In this richly illustrated style guide from an unabashed hoarder of all things beautiful, design editor and entertaining expert Eddie Ross reveals his insider secrets to creating exciting interiors, table settings and parties with chic and accessible finds that celebrate who you are and what you love.

For more design inspiration, follow along on Instagram , Facebook , Pinterest , Twitter and subscribe to Bespoke Banter. Be sure to click here to register for all events.

They are filling up fast and you do not want to miss this incredible line up of engaging, entertaining and enlightening speakers! I am excited to be participating along with nine other designers from the southeast to create rooms inspired by our favorite cities. See below for the full lineup and more information about ADAC: For more design inspiration, be sure to follow along on Instagram , Pinterest , Facebook , Twitter and subscribe to Bespoke Banter.

Thanks for reading and please come back again! The final day of LCDQ certainly inspired all of us to keep the fight going…. I was looking forward to some of my favorite showrooms hosting events and taking in all the incredible sources that LCDQ has to offer. The new showroom of Hollywood at Home is a feast for the eyes. We were greeted by the new fabric collaboration of adorable Amy Meier and Peter Fasano.

The always entertaining Robert Leleux, editor in chief of Domino , led a lively conversation with his usual panache. The front of the showroom houses fabrics lines organized by designer and the back contains one of the chicest special event spaces I have ever seen. Interiors editor Leslie Newsom Rascoe and renowned interior designers Nicky Haslam and Nathan Turner discussed the definition of enduring interiors in the context of short lived nature of decorating and why some spaces transcend time.

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